On Being Part of a Village Community....

First of all let me say that I know I chose this life - I mean I didnt choose to be born or anything but I mean, This Life , Here, in this small rural village in the middle of  The Shires.  With  no prospect of Gandalf limping up my garden path to lure me to pastures new here I am and here I will remain.  However......

I am becoming slightly concerned about my being sucked relentlessly into the prevailing mists of village ethos.  I am more concerned that I am actually in an episode of Vicar of Dibley - I seem to have managed quite well, in a way, so far but now - as the spawn get older and need more "outside interests" I am getting further and further mired in various social groupings that I am ill equipped and ill prepared for.  Not only this but I seem to have become the holder of the Key (think My Precious) to The Village Hall.

This may not seem very onerous to those of you who are used to zipping around towns and cities, answering phone calls, thrusting emails at each other, tearing open "post" with your urban and urbane teeth (having dentists that care for said teeth) but......  Seriously, The Key is calling to me, it is making me think unholy thoughts, thoughts that dare not speak their name... like,  "hmmm perhaps we could organise a nature ramble for the village when it's a nice day" , like, "oh, Village Rounders on The Green - that would be cool", like "perhaps I should get a Village Pick Up Litter afternoon going, followed by Bingo and sausage and mash in The Hall!"

Clearly, I need help.  The Key is sly.  The Key is subtle.  The Key is Precious.  The Key thinks "Bake and Share Recipes" is just a matter of time........

Send help.  Before it is too late.