ho hum is that my tum

Why oh why am I always hungry at the wrong times?  However, I do know the answer to that and it is obviously Eat Breakfast Silly Moo.

So, I have now fed the cats about 100 times each (approximate).  I have not fed the Dog though since he doesnt Meow and therefore how am I to know when or if he wants that absolutely disgusting chub tripe stuff.  I am not going to force it on him (heaven forbid someone would do that to me!)  Not that the Dog seems to mind about all that stuff though - yesterday I saw him eating what was left of the Red Cat's Kill.  There were only two small bunny ears left - looking even smaller without the bunny head.

Thats another thing about the Cat - how can he be so sniffy about the stuff I give him (he looks at it as though I have just put a turd in his bowl before staring at me in the most contemptuous way possible - and believe me, if I know cats like I know Cats that is a very wide spectrum of possible contemptuous faces) and then and THEN - go and eat some two week old CARCASS - probably not even one of his own kills - possibly something that just gave up and died of being too hideous to carry on.  Bloody things.

What else is new?  Him indoors decided - under the new I am now a Vegan regime that he would do the shopping this weekend AND prepare the tea.  After several hours doing both tasks I was finally (weak with lack of nourishment) summoned from my sulking and cleaning the upstairs of Hotel Despairo to Come and Have the Tea....  I was summoned three times in under a minute; so urgent was the elaborately prepared Feast - was the Mushroom Souffle sinking as I took my arthritic time wringing my hands in dust mites and clambouring like the black lady from Tom and Jerry who you only ever see the legs of, down the ricketty staircase.....

To be confronted with himself and both spawn sitting at the table tucking into The Feast.  Now, I know that I sound ungrateful.  Some people just dont know they are born (most of us actually, unless you have regression therapy).  But. 

It was a SALAD.

It wasn't even a salad with lots of interesting things in it - well it had rocket and peppers and tomatoes and cut up mushrooms.  And, well that's about it really.  Oh, and a slice of brown bread.

"Do you like it?"  "What do you think?"  Spawn:  "This is the best meal I have had all year!"  Second Spawn: "I think it is the best meal I have EVER had"  "It's brilliant"  "Can we have this all the time?"  "Yum Yum"

It was a SALAD!!!!!

And, there was not very much of it either.

So., that was tea.  I had to fill out a form in triplicate - one for each of the Alien beings that have stolen my family from me.  I had to speak lyrically and at LENgTH about Just How Much I enjoyed It.  (a salad)

I spent the rest of the evening starving and muttering to myself.  I am going down the garden to eat worms.

P.S.   A Salad!