The Rant Continues....

I have recently resigned myself to the fact that I am a deeply and darkly flawed individual.  Not actually Evil.  Just.... um, well, challenging perhaps.  I can not submit to authority.  I hate being told what to do, ie, given ORDERS.  I am a nightmare when I drink alcohol and a nightmare when refused it.  I am a shoddy parent and careless daughter and crap partner.  Apart from all that I AM WONDERFUL.

Wherein lies my wonderfulness?  All over, I reek of it ! 

 It's not like I am just going about my daily life with a knackered old pram filled with cats and old jars of raspberry jam and vodka bottles.... well not always. However, I am wondering whether I was really cut out  for this life.  I think I would have been an excellent cat for example.  Apart from the required licking of ones own arse which seems to me to be asking too much. 

However, I am extremely loyal and will try my very best to help anyone that I can. 

What a stupid, transparent LIE that is.  I have not offered my sofa to a Syrian Refugee,  I have not even taken in one of the Past Their Sell By date chickens that need rehoming, come to think of it I didnt even BUY A FUCKING RED POPPY.  Why then am I so convinced of my Awesomeness????

Because I have been walking miles and miles trying to locate a strangers Lost Dog.  There.  Therein lies my selfless wonderful awesomeness.  Have not found the creature, but have spent days and nights looking and trying to comfort and chivvy up the poor women that have lost her.  

Will this effort be enough to safeguard my safe passage through St. Peter's Pearly Gates?  Will this counteract my past tresspasses and outrages?  If my teenage son comes to hear of this act of extreme humanity and kindness will he decide to stop "hating me and all the family" ?  Will the "friend" that told me to  "Fuck off back down south and stop interferring with The Old Country Ways" (NB, see Crow Bashing Incident from several years ago!)  embrace the new socially rehabilitated moi ?  Will the 'lady' who informed me that I was a "Bolshevik" (for suggesting that we made some disused village ground into a communal allotment space) decide that I did, actually, after all, have a point?  Will the guy who..... oh bollocks, I could literally go on for hours on this .......

Anyway, I shall have to stop this and get back on the Grindstone, or Millstone, or whatever it is that I do in order to get a few measly quid coming into the pot.....  and therein lies another RANTFEST..