The Rant Continues....

I have recently resigned myself to the fact that I am a deeply and darkly flawed individual.  Not actually Evil.  Just.... um, well, challenging perhaps.  I can not submit to authority.  I hate being told what to do, ie, given ORDERS.  I am a nightmare when I drink alcohol and a nightmare when refused it.  I am a shoddy parent and careless daughter and crap partner.  Apart from all that I AM WONDERFUL.

Wherein lies my wonderfulness?  All over, I reek of it ! 

 It's not like I am just going about my daily life with a knackered old pram filled with cats and old jars of raspberry jam and vodka bottles.... well not always. However, I am wondering whether I was really cut out  for this life.  I think I would have been an excellent cat for example.  Apart from the required licking of ones own arse which seems to me to be asking too much. 

However, I am extremely loyal and will try my very best to help anyone that I can. 

What a stupid, transparent LIE that is.  I have not offered my sofa to a Syrian Refugee,  I have not even taken in one of the Past Their Sell By date chickens that need rehoming, come to think of it I didnt even BUY A FUCKING RED POPPY.  Why then am I so convinced of my Awesomeness????

Because I have been walking miles and miles trying to locate a strangers Lost Dog.  There.  Therein lies my selfless wonderful awesomeness.  Have not found the creature, but have spent days and nights looking and trying to comfort and chivvy up the poor women that have lost her.  

Will this effort be enough to safeguard my safe passage through St. Peter's Pearly Gates?  Will this counteract my past tresspasses and outrages?  If my teenage son comes to hear of this act of extreme humanity and kindness will he decide to stop "hating me and all the family" ?  Will the "friend" that told me to  "Fuck off back down south and stop interferring with The Old Country Ways" (NB, see Crow Bashing Incident from several years ago!)  embrace the new socially rehabilitated moi ?  Will the 'lady' who informed me that I was a "Bolshevik" (for suggesting that we made some disused village ground into a communal allotment space) decide that I did, actually, after all, have a point?  Will the guy who..... oh bollocks, I could literally go on for hours on this .......

Anyway, I shall have to stop this and get back on the Grindstone, or Millstone, or whatever it is that I do in order to get a few measly quid coming into the pot.....  and therein lies another RANTFEST..

THE MAD BITCH IS BACK

YES!  I am back, somehow with a new font as well, The absence of nearly 4 (!!!!!) years has only meant that I am now almost bursting with BILE and HATRED and INTOLERANCE and therefore must decant the rambling contents of my festering mind onto this page again. You have been warned.

Where to start?  Dear Lord, could I possibly describe to you the various outrages of the last few years?  I will just have to let things bubble up as they will and try and maintain a calm and zen like exterior. 

We could for example, mention the episode In Which She Gets Fired From the Teaching Job.......  Bored readers may just remember that I was setting out on a new career teaching teenagers that had been expelled from mainstream school for one reason or another......   I was to be teaching them Maths and English (I know !   Don't even think about it !)  Any road up, as my father never actually said despite being from Wigan, it seems that part of my brief was to make sure these kids passed these two subjects at GCSE level.  Some of them could not even write their name,  actually, that's a lie, they could all write their name. However, some of them were, lets just say, challenged.  Indeed, some of them I had never even seen , they had never turned up to my "class".  I was asked by the "Manager" to sign pieces of paper saying that each one had completed the required course curriculum and had passed the various assignments and continual harrassments that make up the majority of the education system now.  Obviously I could not "sign" off most of these papers, especially since none of them had done any work and some of them had not even managed to attend.

I was then told I would not be needed anymore, I was being "Let Go".  

I was later informed by my Spies that the Manager had forged my signature on all of the papers and submitted them all for passes.

My Teaching Career Ended Thusly.

Is it just me? Or is Everything Pretty Shit Out There?