It's not that I hate it - living in a smallhamlet (village ) in rural lincolnshire is fine by me - life goes on quite routinely - try as I might I cannot get organised and make my life flow any more smoothly - I will always be playing catch-up, trying to just lurch from one must do thing to another. The fixed points on the compass of the day, walk the dog, feed the cat, kids to school, kids to football, kids to everywhere... cook, clean sleep.... these are the coat hooks around which I stumble - like a person with no musical talent or experience trying to hit the key notes in a jazz jam. I dont want to look back however and wonder what the hell I was doing for all these years!
My best friend is currently in the Amazon beating off mossies and sticky heat and men that want to buy her two gorgeous daughters ..... is this why I am experiencing an overwhelming load of frustration and uselessness? Everyday I think "this will be the day that I make a difference to my life" - and yet and yet.......
Nostalgia is my enemy... I need to feel better and I need to stop whinging. Sorry. I will attempt to slap myself around the head for a bit and come back out fighting......
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come along now! pecker up... we'll be back in the village at the weekend... come for a cuppa (or something stronger) on Saturday and we can bitch about life
ReplyDeletedoh! missed you! Thanks for the pep talk though.. am feeling far less self indulgent and wimpy now and even managed the veggie sausage cassorole. Thank you. xx
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