Being a Rubbish Mum (Part 3)

It's not that I had any great expectations of being an un-rubbish mum or anything - so you know, I haven't fallen from a great height to where I wallow now....  I do sort of try.  I make food that is usually fit for general consumption, I wash clothes and sometimes even iron them, I help with homework and try and facilitate activities for the growing boys in my charge.  So, wherein does my inadequacy lie?  Why cant I just resign myself to the fact that everything I do must be for these little characters that I have created?  Why would I be surprised that I have to get up early every day even on saturday and sunday to get them to their various social and educational appointments?  Why would I even slightly sigh when I spend  every minute either scratching a few pounds together for the family pot or ferrying the sweet darlings around to their clubs and friends and shopping whims?  Why?

Actually, when I put it like that I feel even more shabby.  They are only kids after all.  What else am I supposed to do with them?  I attempt to teach them self reliance and self determination only to end up with the even more depressing conclusion that I am more inadequate than I thought in the first place.  How come other people seem to have this side of things nailed?  I can only imagine that the "supermums" have access to some secret formula that they are not letting me have.

On a more positive note - when I am not shattered with self loathing, frustration and defeat I have to admit that they make me laugh a lot of the time.  Children living in the moment are quite entertaining to me.  I am not going to win any prizes that's for sure but hey, I'm trying here.....